2014 was a weird year. I mean, I could bust out a Charles Dickens, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” quote and it would be accurate, but I guess that’s a bit cliché.
More than anything, it was a year of change. Most of that change was a result of the “worst of times,” but some of it led to some pretty good things.
What I will say though is that while I did not enjoy 2014, and while I’m ready for it to be over, some of it needed to happen. 2014 pushed me farther emotionally than I’ve been in a very long time.
And I survived.
I survived working in a miserable environment until May 21st when I took a leap of faith and just resigned from my job of ten years without another job or plan in place, other than support from my husband, knowing that my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health depended on it.
I survived my Granny suddenly passing away, even though it breaks my heart every day.
I survived leaving my job and friends and moving to a new apartment, all in the same weekend that my grandmother died. Talk about major life event stressors…mine decided to binge stress me.
I survived being unemployed for the first time since shortly after graduating college, and the task of job hunting. I mean, really, is there anything worse?
I survived being rejected for job after job. Oh, and there are worse things than job hunting.
I survived starting a new job that I really wasn’t sure I wanted. I mean, I really was afraid and didn’t want to be there.
I survived, and in the end, most of it was worth it.
I am happy in my new apartment, with my new freedom, and even with the job I didn’t want to take. I fell in love with it, suddenly and unexpectedly. I had forgotten what it felt like to work in such a healthy, positive, team-centric environment. What I expected was the exact opposite.
I am happy with my courage to put myself first and do what I knew was best despite what society tells you is normal. It wasn’t easy to do, but once I decided, I immediately knew it was the right thing, and I never regretted for one second quitting my job, despite how bad things felt. Not for one single second.
I am happy that despite giving up on the San Francisco Giants mid-season, they shocked me and won a World Series (you knew there had to be some baseball in here).
I am happy I’ve no longer been able to take for granted friends and that I’ve had to put in work to maintain and even re-establish friendships.
I’ve happy to learn I have some of the best and most supportive friends anyone could ask for, even when I pretend I don’t need it.
I am happy that I didn’t have a job to hurry home to after my Granny passed away so I could spend as much time as needed with my grandpa and family.
I am happy for those three months of grieving, at home alone, while job hunting, and not feeling too guilty about crying and sleeping all day.
And while I am not happy my grandmother is no longer here, I am happy to see how supportive and loving my family is, and how much more they’ve become a priority in my life. I’ve always appreciated my family and loved them, but as I get older, and as I’ve experienced loss, I realize just how precious those moments together are.
So, 2014…thanks for the memories, good and bad. But please, 2015, be kinder to me.
